There are plenty of articles describing what kind of people we should surround ourselves with in order to succeed. Even a greater number about what we should be – determined, honest, kind, driven, bold, empathic or my personal favorite – with the proper mindset. Well, whatever the hell that means…
Mindset – an established set of attitudes held by someone
This is what you will find in a dictionary, but what makes a mindset a good one? We all can recognize it when we see it. The question is, how we get there?
Some people just have it all. It looks like everything comes to them so easily, right? They are successful, happy, original, even better-looking but most of all they are satisfied. Feeling appreciated and fulfilled in their lives. They pass on good vibes to others around them and you might find out that they seem to never stand alone, having other individuals aside them. This is creating a spiral of success cause in such circles people constantly inspire and challenge each other usually ending up with another great accomplishment. How come Sara Blakely (founder and CEO of Spanx) can have a notebook filled with over 99 pages of business ideas while you cannot think of even one? I will tell you why – she seeks inspiration everywhere: in her environment and the people she has by her side.
Those ‘lucky’ people shine among all the rest for whom nothing is good enough, who always struggle and are drowning in their complaints. They don’t like something but they do nothing about it (sometimes except paying a lot of attention to it). They are the masters of distraction, focusing on things they cannot change and blaming everyone and everything for their failures. What is interesting, those people don’t stand alone as well. They require an audience.
We ask – how to be happy? Well, it is simply not becoming this second person.
Saying is much easier than doing though. Isn’t it?
What differs these two groups is something that Stephen R. Covey in his most famous book “7 habits of highly effective people” called “abundance mentality”. It is a mindset most people are lacking:
“We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing – that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose, … There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me.”
For people who think like that, it is extremely hard to share success even with people who worked hard for it besides them. This includes also feeling honestly happy about other people achievements – it feels like it has been taken from them. It is always personal.
“To ‘win’ simply means to ‘beat’.“
Their confidence is coming from comparing themselves to others. They consider divergence as a threat and would like everyone to be and act as they wish. Frankly, it seems pretty exhausting to me. Not to mention – really boring.
Abundance mentality starts with self-confidence. It is a belief that there is always enough room at the top. Feeling inspired by differences and uniqueness of others. Passing appreciation is the key to feeling satisfaction followed by happiness and fulfillment.
Make no mistake – who you choose to spend your time with is shaping you and your future whether you like it or not. So choose wisely!
But who am I to tell you how you should live your life? I can just pour myself another cup of tea, write these – as I am convinced – wise words in all of my modesty (which I don’t have much), hoping they will guide you to a better version of you.